Best. Dinner. Ever. (A post by Nick)

(Post by Nick)

Ever since Jess’s debut into the blogging community, I haven’t done much cooking. Nope, I just sit back and reap the benefits. I have to say, life is pretty good. Seeing as I am just getting lazier and lazier, I decided to contribute to her newfound hobby.

Since this is my first blog entry, I’ll tell you a little bit about my cooking background. I am man, therefore, I grill. I like to live my life firmly by the code of all that is man, more commonly known as “Man Law”.

“Man Penal Code: 26.A. All men must eat meat. A sh!tload of meat; if not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegetarian, or eat sick sh!t like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms ‘diet’, ‘fat free’, or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of ‘watching his weight’ or dieting.”

But since this is Jess’s blog, and I’m doing this to make her happy, I’m going to cook something that she likes. When searching for the ultimate dish, I decided to consult the oracle, i. e. Google. Sadly, my search turned up empty.

I then went to my most trusted source; you guessed it, the master of all things cooking, my Aunt Diane. She has been called upon for recipes many a time, also by many a bartender, and always has something new and delicious. This time was no different as she revealed to me her secret recipes for French Onion Soup and Chocolate Mousse.

Simply stated, I love French Onion Soup, and so does Jess. So here it is:

French Onion Soup

• ¼ cup butter
• 6 onions (about 3 pounds), sliced
• 6 cloves of garlic sliced
• ½ cup dry white wine
• 6 cups beef broth
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 3 beef bullion cubes
• 4 french bread slices, toasted
• 1 cup grated Jarlsberg cheese

We begin this process by chopping onions…

…the most unpleasant experience, especially if you have allergies.

Add the onions, garlic, and butter to the pot and let them sauté to golden brown perfection. This took me roughly an hour, but I have a stove from the 70’s, so assume it will take less time. Once those babies look deliciously caramelized, add the wine and do what real chefs call “deglazing” it. To idiots like me, that means pour in wine and stir for 2-3 minutes. At this point, it will produce one of the best smells you will ever experience.

Now add the broth, mustard, and bullion cubes and let simmer for 20 minutes.

The onions will absorb some of the broth and swell.

Note: This all can be done a day in advance. If so, return the soup to a simmer before serving it.

Time to serve!!! Ladle some soup on top of some French bread, and sprinkle copious amounts of Jarlsburg cheese on top (the more the merrier).

Place it under the broiler until the cheese is golden brown and delicious. Be sure you use oven safe bowls; they tend to explode if they aren’t.

Now be prepared for some compliments. Although this dish has no chunks of meat in it, it is primarily made up of beef stock (by volume), which makes it acceptable for us carnivores.

I chose to also make chocolate mousse because it’s a relatively easy recipe, and its a proven fact that chocolate is an aphrodisiac.

Chocolate Mousse

• 11 ½ oz pkg. milk chocolate chips
• 16 large marshmallows
• ½ cup milk
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup cream

The first step in making chocolate mousse, is to improvise a double boiler. I used a cooking bowl and a large pot, and it works like a dream. Next, add the chocolate, marshmallows, milk, and salt and begin heating.

NOTE: Make sure to keep the water just below boiling.

Once the marshmallows are fully melted into the chocolate, its time to remove from the heat and let cool. Let it cool on the counter before putting it into the refrigerator to avoid rapid cooling and breaking of the glass.

Now it’s time to make some whipped cream. This part is very easy… to make a mess that is. Evidently you have to keep the mixer straight up and down while using it. Woops!!!

After the chocolate has fully cooled, remove it from the refrigerator and let it come to room temperature. Now its time to “fold” in the whipped cream. I did my best to “fold” it in, but I’m not sure where the line is between folding and mixing.

Once it is properly folded, it’s time to put it in whatever you are going to serve it in. I am serving it in wine glasses due to the absence of champagne flutes. Again, its time to let them chill.

I garnished mine with something a little unusual, but just strawberries would do just fine.

Lets just say this was the best dessert Jess has ever had.